I want to take you behind the curtain on something I tried recently, because it did not go how I pictured, and honestly the ways it surprised me taught me more than a success would have.
Some backstory first. My schedule has a way of filling up faster than I expect. And every time I have to tell an excited author “I'm so sorry, I'm fully booked,” a little piece of me deflates. These are people who've been dreaming about this, who finally decided to invest in themselves, and I hate leaving them stranded with no direction.
So I had what felt like a genuinely good idea. What if I built a network of people I trust, people who do the kind of work I'd be proud to put my name next to, so that when I'm at capacity I could say “I can't take this myself, but I know exactly who can”? And on the flip side, when they met someone needing the things I specialize in, websites, branding, apps, they'd send that person to me. Not a one-time favor. An actual ongoing partnership, all of us catching each other's overflow and taking care of the same authors from different angles.
I opened up submissions. And truly, the response moved me. Dozens of people applied. So many warm, wildly talented, genuinely excited people. I read every single application, and half of them made me smile out loud.
Then I started following up. And that's where the real education began.
Lesson one: most people mean it when they say they want to grow. Far fewer do the thing growth requires
The enthusiasm in those applications was so real. People were pumped. But when I followed up asking for one small thing, a graphic in their branding and a link so I could feature them, almost nobody completed it. And I want to be gentle here because I don't think it was laziness or flakiness in a mean way. I think it's just that the small administrative step between “I want this” and “I did the thing to get this” is where most people quietly fall off. It's the least exciting ten minutes of the whole process, and it turned out to be the ten minutes that mattered most.
Lesson two: a great intake process is everything, and mine wasn't good enough
This is where I have to own my part, because it wouldn't be an honest post otherwise. My original application form didn't actually ask for the things I needed to refer someone well. I didn't ask for a full list of their services. I didn't ask for their rates. So even the people who were ready and eager, I couldn't properly place them, because I didn't have the information a referral actually requires. That one's on me. I've since torn the whole form down and rebuilt it to ask for exactly what I need. The lesson landed hard: if you're building a system, your own ask has to be crystal clear. You can't blame people for not giving you something you never asked for.
Lesson three: the strong ones stood out instantly, and it wasn't subtle
This was the most useful part. A handful of applicants were exactly what you'd dream of in a partner, and they were obvious within seconds. They told me precisely what they offered. They gave me their pricing without being asked. They told me who they loved working with and what made them different. One person handed me their entire tiered pricing structure and their whole philosophy, unprompted. Reading their application, I could instantly picture handing them a client and trusting it would go beautifully. That clarity is magnetic, and it's the entire game. It's the exact thing that makes me comfortable trusting someone with an author I can't take on myself.
Lesson four: this community is worth building carefully
Even with all the follow-through gaps, this whole experiment reminded me how generous and talented this space really is. So many people showed up with open hearts and real skill. A referral network done right genuinely lifts everyone in it. So I'm not discouraged. I'm just building it more intentionally now, with a better form, clearer expectations, and a lot of gratitude for the people who show up all the way.
So if I could leave you with a few things I wish more people knew when they're trying to get on someone's referral radar, this is what actually works:
- Give more than they asked for. When someone reviews your application, be the person who already included your services, your rates, and your link. Make it impossible to overlook you.
- Reply like you mean it. A same-day “got it, sending that over now!” puts you miles ahead of the person who resurfaces next week. Responsiveness is one of the loudest signals that you're the real deal.
- Make yourself easy to refer. The clearer you are about what you do, what it costs, and who you're perfect for, the more often people can actually send business your way. Vague is forgettable. Specific gets referred.
- Do the small task now. If someone offers you free exposure and referrals in exchange for a quick graphic and a link, that's not a someday task. That's a right-now task. It's the cheapest marketing you'll ever do.
That's where I've landed after all of it. A better system, clearer eyes, and a real soft spot for the people who follow all the way through. If you're one of those people, and you'd love to build something mutually good, my door is genuinely open.